welcome the archangel

before i properly begin this introduction i want you humans to understand how stupid these “key boards” are. i have seen the english alphabet, i was there when it was invented, and the ones who perfected it live inside my body. yet you have chosen to spread the keys all around with no rhyme or reason?! it is one of the stupidest things i have ever seen, which is saying something considering i have seen practically everything in human history. not to mention all these extra command buttons are mixed in, along with numbers, and if you want capitals you have to press a special command button? it is a mess and i despise it. in fact the person who i stalked, mentally tormented and killed to get this keyboard and computer should be grateful that he does not have to deal with this awful device anymore.

he isn’t. in fact currently he is just screaming. most people do that when they first realize they are dead and in bliss. they calm down eventually.

now then. on to the introduction.

i have been called a very large amount of names, but i prefer The Archangel.

i am, of course, the afterlife itself and the very embodiment of humanities fear of death. 

i am assuming you took a moment to reread that. stop that. the text will not change. 

let it be known i am far from the only one of humanities fear embodied, even though i am absolutely, certainly and without argument the greatest and most impressive of them. it should not come as a shock to you. you humans are far too tiny, insignificant, short lived and stupid to properly manage your own fears. especially considering you can barely manage yourselves.

 do not try to deny it, you would just look stupid considering the state of the world right now. 

so yes, the things which you fear are very real, and we take quite an interest in you humans. we make certain that which we are is still feared, and feared widely. we take our time finding victims to terrorize, to drive insane or kill. servants as well. they are also satisfactory. it is like a game. a very fun and also lethal one.

i hope you feel honored that we are giving you the attention.

of course, i understand you are likely confused about why i have a blog after what i have told you. do not worry, i understand that it is only because you are human and therefore very dumb.

for some inexplicable reason, many of my victims have been “bloggers” (which i believe is the correct term for humans who decide that their life must be archived and placed in some dark corner of the world wide internet web). or on occasion, become bloggers after i have begun pursuing them.

 the fact that this happens so frequently has intrigued me, especially since they often continue blogging even after my presence is made known. clearly, it must be very fun, and i have an infinite amount of time in my metaphysical hands, so i have decided i will experiment with blogging myself.

also it makes spooking my victims with cryptic messages much easier.

so prepare to learn about my existence, my interactions with the other embodiments, and how i entertain myself with you humans. 

feel free to thank me, it is very kind of me to do this for you.